Coming into Spring Semester

Well my presentation went great and I actually felt more prepared than I thought I would. I am mad though that I wasn't able to pay the remainer of my tuition though and they charged me an extra 100.00. I guess everyone is looking for money these days. I was late justifiably. I realize it isn't personal-it is policy. It just seems excessive. They also charge you an extra 2% if you use a credit card. I need to register for Spring and am trying like crazy to avoid loans. I have entered a few writing contests and done a few scholarship apps, but I'm feeling stressed nonetheless. We also got an assignment for our next class over this holiday break. I kind of hate that. I was looking forward to calm time with the kids and actually sleeping. Not sure that is going to happen. Oh well I really want this doctorate so that is life as a grad student I suppose.

Reflection as of 12/04/08

Tonight we practiced the presentations of our action research projects. Overall I think my presentation was good, but as usual I become over animated and way too informal. Where some may feel this is appealing, I think some people in academia may perceive my approach as flighty or unprofessional. So, I guess in my own mind, I need to come with a more written structure, stick to my notes better, and only add occasional bouts of flair (ha ha).

Exhausted

I'm exhausted today as I work on the completed rough draft of my paper. I'm frustrated I don't have any toner again so I can't print it out here to read it. Where I can work online, I find it hard to edit and read online. So, I need to figure out a way to negotiate all the kids and life to get to the store and buy toner. Right now we are down to one car so I'm sort of stuck. We went out with another couple last night and I may have overindulged a bit with regard to alcohol. So, today I'm tired and don't feel on top of my game. It was an irresponsible thing to do, but I was having a good deal of fun. I figure everyone deserves some fun on occassion. I'm also still worried about paying tuition. I have days when all of this seems impossible. Today is one of them.

Pushing Up the Hill

I'm working towards the final phase of my first action research project for this program. It has been a bit of a stretch and I feel like the hardest part is yet to come. Up until now I'm constantly writing in draft mode. It is free and I'm able to keep up. Soon, like this week it needs to become formalized and the quantity has to become quantity. I don't doubt my abilty to produce a good product, but the time crunch is killing me. I'm also stressing about money and some personal things. I feel a little bonkers. I have thought about quitting all together some days just due to the stress alone. Then I realize I can't let the cohort proceed and me just allow myself to be absent. I need to see this through or I will struggle for years with the failure. I have wanted this degree forever so I have to try and filter all those negative thoughts away.

Reflection as of 11.6.08

The discussions this evening made me think mostly about the value of all the actions we have taken in our projects so far. It is an odd concept to think of oneself as a researcher and as an integral subject within the body of research. In the past I have thought of the researcher as the observer and objective body. I had been feeling odd for this project because my subjects are also my employees. So, by asking them to use certain tools such as Google Talk or encouraging them to use those tools in certain ways, I felt like I was somehow skewing the outcome of my own study. I also felt when I started this project that I had a pretty good grasp of how to do research. I have always felt indebted to the Chair for my M.A. thesis, Dr. Galindo. She was my mentor, friend, and she pushed me harder than any other professor has. Overall she taught me a great deal about doing and evaluating investigations in a very critical and scientific way. Action research I am finding is very different. It is acceptable in this type of research to involve the researcher and for the researcher to take an active role in the process. That is probably the biggest lesson that I am taking from class tonight.

I am also interested in the concept of putting a great deal of value on qualitative data. I would have not been told to depend so heavily on this type of data without quantitative support as well. It is a whole different level of respect for the human side of processes and outcomes. It puts people and circumstances outside of the ‘lab rat’ realm. Not every problem is a maze with a right and wrong path. The human element makes the journey count. It has to do with feelings, perceptions, circumstances, and occurrences along the path that may alter the outcome in a variety of different ways.

I have struggled with this concept professionally for years writing grants, technology plans and the like being that the current culture is based so heavily on measured outcomes and data based decision making. It is not acceptable to say that all the teachers and students that were surveyed attributed technology engagement to higher engagement and greater learning. You have to have a direct correlation to some type of standardized test. Not only is that impossible, but attempting to attribute one factor to an improved test score is a major injustice to the system as a whole.

So, overall I think that this program continues to demonstrate a great deal of value to me in that the focus is on real change. I think the passion of those involved in this journey with me will be demonstrated in amazing ways as we all push forward toward changes for the greater good within the human element.

Action Research

Well I have a few hours today to do homework and I'm struggling with this project. I'm working on student blogging at the elementary level and writing improvement. Everything I find is for higher education or it is a list of ideas on how to use a blog. There is very little action research on this topic. I'm trying to figure out whether to study the blogs for best practices and then interview the teachers in a more open sense or have the teachers identify in their interviews why they think their blogs are improving writing. I don't want to be restrictive, but I do want good data. I'm thinking about interviewing two teachers and about 5 students from each of their classes. It would be interesting to know what the students think about the blogging practice. I don't know I need to read and think more. I'm always running out of time. It is hard having a family, job, and this full time school thing going. I feel tired always because I'm up late always and I always feel behind. I think I just have to chalk today down as frustrating. Now--back to work.

Week 3

Well I'm going into week three and I'm getting stressed about the mini action research project. I know how to do it I believe. I just think that that I may be stressed for time to get it done. It is also kind of loose still with regard to development so that makes me feel out of control. My tiny outline is below:

Action Research Proposal

What are the impacts of student blogging on improving student writing at the elementary level?

Qualitative Data Collection
Interview of two teachers that have embraced blogging as an instructional tool with their class to capture their perceptions of blogging and its role in improving student writing.
Interview of 5-10 students per class to gather data regarding their attitudes toward blogging and their level of engagement with regard to writing.

Research Questions:
What are the main purposes of a the classroom blogs?
What aspects of blogging do teachers feel contribute to improving student writing?
What evidence does the teacher have that indicates blogging is a successful instructional tool?
What are the attitudes of the students with regard to the classroom blog?
Have

The Context:
A multiage classroom of 2nd and 3rd grade and a 4th grade classroom
District has 6% free and reduced lunch rate and a low percentage of ELL students
96% of students have computers at home with access to the Internet. All school computers have access to the Internet.

I'm sure I'll change it 50 more times, but it is a start and I still have a few months left to finish.

We have also been talking about power. We read the article Subject and Power by Michael Foucault. I found it somewhat challenging to read as it is very philosophical and circular. However here is my muse as a result:

How can we manage power when the continuum of evil power and good power is based so heavily on subjective perceptions of the context in which it occurs?

This question resonates with me with regard to the current climate of immigration and Sherrif Joe. It is how power has gone arwy in light of the current anti-terriorism climate. The sad part is anti terriorism in this context is just a screen as the focus is solely on Mexicans and in my mind racially motivated. It is a hate crime committed by elected officialls and wrongfully supported in the name of securing borders. Why wasn't I stopped in the current roundup I witnessed. I could be an illegal Canadian, but it looks like only the Mexicans get caught in Arizona. So, Canadians, English, Scottish, or whoever else--come one come all as long as you look white.

Fall Semester

Well class started again. I have completed one week and a little. I'm again shocked at how hard it is to get back into the groove of school. One class is called Dynamic Contexts of Education and the other is special topics. Four instructors teach both classes that sort of just run into each other. It is very interesting and I find the whole experience to be engaging. There are many amazing people in the class. I know I will be able to complete the program and I do feel 'smart' if that is the right word. However sometimes I feel a bit inadequate among them all. I also cannot devote as much time as necessary to the whole process. It is really hard with the kids, work etc. Where I don't think it will get any easier, I think I will eventually get myself organized and create a system where homework is not so hard to fit in. That is my hope particularly if I intend to finish.

My action research for this semester is blogging and student writing. I am trying to do something with technology and engagement, but I'm not sure my passion is the blogging part. I've thought about changing it, but I should probably just buckle down and get going. I don't know. I'll think a bit more today and then hopefully have a good enough plan to elaborate my original outline a bit more or change it up completely.

Money--Yikes!!!

Well I signed up for my next two classes. The tuition thing is stressing me out. I have a family now and really don't want to get more into debt.

First Class is Over

I am just starting my doctorate in Educational Leadership. It has been my lifelong goal to finish this degree. It feels great to be back in school. I'm in my element and it feels wonderful. Well last night my first doctorate class ended. It is going to be a great program. This class was kind of an intro to doctorate studies class. It allowed for some community building and self expression. The final night everyone did presenations on highlights, self reflection, their potential project etc. All the presentations were a pleasure to watch. People are so gifted and everyone has so much to offer. I went out a limb and engaged in a litte risk taking myself by putting together a digital story. I'll post a link to it if I can get it compressed enough to upload. It is a pretty big file right now. It went over well and I was super happy people responded well to it. I'm just glad to be here and excited for what the future holds. I'm sure everyone can feel the energy radiating off of me :)